The Dalai Lama says that our whole society has a “materialistic culture”. Emphasizing much in itself brings more anxiety and more loneliness. When you focus too much on yourself, you “become disconnected and alienated from others”. In the end, you become alienated from yourself. In the materialistic way of life, there is no concept of love, but of just work, twenty-four hours a day, like a machine. So we ultimately become part of that “large moving machine”. We are social animals, and cooperation is necessary for our survival but cooperation is entirely based on trust, when there is trust, people are brought together – whole nations are brought together…
The need for connection with others is such a fundamental part of who we are as human beings. Our basic human nature is compassionate; the problem is that children go to schools where they are not taught to nurture these deeper human values so their basic human potential becomes dormant. We are same human beings. When we relate to others from a place of compassion, it goes to the first level, the human level, not the secondary level of difference. Then we can have compassion even for our enemy. When you have a more compassionate mind, and cultivate warm-heartedness, the whole atmosphere around you becomes more positive and friendlier.
Much depends on our attitude. If you have an open heart and are filled with trust and friendship, even if you are physically alone, you will never feel lonely. The only thing that will bring happiness is affection and warm-heartedness. This really brings inner strength and self confidence, reduces fear, develops trust, and trust brings friendship. Kindness and compassion is the antidote to loneliness. We don’t have to wait for others to open their hearts to us. By opening our heart to them, we could feel connected to them whether on a mountain top or in the middle of Manhattan.
On the other side, if one is filled with negative judgment and anger, then it will feel separate from other people. You will feel lonely. If you feel fear and distrust, other people will distance themselves. They will feel cautious, suspicious and distrustful. Then comes the feeling of loneliness. When we are concerned with the well being of other human beings, that inner door opens and we are able to communicate very easily with other people, openheartedness and warm-heartedness